The phone rang at 1:00 PM in summer and at 1:30 PM in winter. Every working day. Even if I was busy, my office connected the call. Failure in trying to engage the caller had made them realized the futility of any alternate action. His focus was unwavering. “Can I please speak to Mamma?”
It was the most important conversation of the day. He discussed his day in school, in detail. My advice was sought on momentous topics: if it was okay for his sister to ignore him on the bus to whether he should be rewarded with a half-hour of TV watching or did he need to sleep in the afternoon. While my opinions became less important with time, my voice remained important. Literally. I made sure that I was always present at the end of the line.
She would walk in after a party, an outing with friends or even from the park on some days and have, what I have called, verbal diarrhoea. I was told in great detail what everyone had said and done. She would be indignant at the ‘atrocities’ (a term she still uses for things which miff her – they mostly have to do with animal rights and gender bias now), she would be upset at what she considered (and I agreed) ‘insensitivity’ and she would regale me with what all amused her (there was a lot). Then she would retire in a corner with a book. As I started becoming less intelligent, her knowledge base grew phenomenally.
Now, I find that my children are amused, and often outraged that I make politically incorrect statements like “what was she thinking when she wore that?” and give baseless advice, “honey and ginger are good for your throat”. That despite having earned a graduate degree in technology, I still need to ask how to make my laptop do certain things. That I worry about them when they are perfectly capable.
This shall pass. Mark Twain discovered that his father improved much as he transitioned from teenage to adulthood. Mine possibly also will!
Nana used to say: “We call our fathers fools as wiser we grow.
No doubt our noble sons will call us so.”
Heart-rending, yet heartwarming.
Could we have met the expectations of a toddler, or a growing child? With all the callings on life?
Could it have made him/her or us happier and given us a sense a better sense of fulfillment?
Justifying what we did is pointless, and analyzing futile.
We shall live with the pang in our heart, hoping it shall make the heart grow.
You have painted a beautiful picture. In it I see both myself as a child and my kids.
Parenting does not come with a manual even though it is much needed. I believe that all parents aspire to do their best! Amen.
Wonderfully written… it’s delightful to see our children grow … in the blink of an eye they have their own individuality and character. We are now reminded on who is the adult in the family …!