“But you speak such good English”, I would have accepted the compliment with as much humility (not much) as I can muster had the postscript not been, “for a Bihari”. The revelation that being a Bihari precluded certain skills annoyed me no end.
I grew up within the Railway community where every next person came from a different part of India. Diversity was the norm and it became part of my DNA. So when in class 11, my peers in my elite South Delhi school expressed surprise at my excellent articulation in English, I thought it to be extremely rude. It was very hard to gracefully accept what was being offered as a compliment. Some were quick to correct themselves,” Oh, you have never lived in Bihar. That is why you don’t speak like a Bihari’.
While I went from being indignant to sarcastic to finally blasé, my learning was immense. Later when I would be judged for many things in life from my gender to my appearance, I was not blindsided. My little brother was smarter possibly because of the male DNA. He was less than two years old when we moved to Delhi. He quickly christened himself as ‘Delhiite’ once he realized that the Bihari DNA would render him uncool.
Fast forward to going to the US for graduate school. “My goodness, you speak excellent English for an Indian”. Really, again? Thankfully, other questions made me laugh and I took to answering irreverently: “No there are no TVs in India.” “There are no elevators in buildings” and of course, the outlandish, “Some people still live in trees.” I stopped caring about the opinions of ignorant people. I came to understand that other people’s opinions were not really about me. They are a reflection of their history, experiences, and beliefs. It is their cross to bear.
I have evolved but not much; after all the Bihari DNA is rather resistant to learning! Bigotry still gets to me and to keep myself from causing physical harm, I pray like the superstitious Indian I am, “Dear God, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. “
expresses feelings of so many of us, well written!
You are a Bihari? You write so well…
I like your comments.
In the movie ‘English,Vinglish’ Sridevi goes to her neice to ask the meaning of the word ‘judgemental’. Hypothetically , had this article been written earlier she would have understood the meaning better. Wonderful.
Being a jat myself, I connected with this sentiment at once.
By the way, ignorance is bliss!!!!
Wow! This is anonymous. not fair!
Bihari married to a Punjabi – deadly!
My poor son came back one day (from OUR school) and said woefully how he found being half Punjabi-half bihari put him at the bottom of the totem pole!
Humorous and well written.
Although I have spent last three decades outside Bihar, nobody ever mentioned it before me.
Humourously written to bring out a very important aspect. Being a Tamilian growing up in the North, and now living in the south, I am now keenly aware of the extent of prejudice on people’s mindsets. And often, it’s when we encounter prejudice that we think about our biased. Sometimes not even then!! As you rightly said, bigotry reflects the ignorance of the bigot. It’s not about the person who faces the bigotry. That is a valuable lesson in self-respect that many of us have learnt late in life.
Touches a raw place. Have experienced it so many times. LSR days ; ET editor saying oh you dont look or speak like a Bihari
Hilarious!
Did Khushwant Singh begin his column ‘With Malice Towards All’ with similar thoughts?
I join Jesus Christ whom you have quoted.
Ha Ha loved it !! You are talking about in India, You need to come and live in the New US of A especially suburbs its still worse. Like Veda mentioned in her comment people don’t change no matter where they go! mindset remains the same .. bigotry still continues no matter where you live.